Dating Patterns and How to Break Them

Posted by Alona in UncategorizedFeb 1st, 2011 | no responses

One of the most complex issues surrounding dating is how we pick the people we chose to date. Have you ever wondered why you inevitably break up with the person you are dating after only a few months? Sometimes being too close to emotional complications can obscure one’s objectivity, something which prevents us from acknowledging the actual problem. Thus, we keep repeating the same pattern which creates the same problem over and over again. This happens in dating quite frequently, but there is a way to stop this type of self-abuse and begin having more positive outcomes with your dating experiences.

Sabotaging Your Self-Esteem

When someone does not think they are worthy of being happy or being treated well, they tend to seek out those who justify this negative self-talk. Dating-wise, someone who feels this way will continue to accept dates with those who may consistently stand them up, ignore their needs or interests, and financially take advantage of them. Sometimes the individual will continue dating them, and sometimes they will break up with them (usually at a friend or family member’s urging), only to later find someone new to date who treats them just like their last relationship partner did. Having low self-esteem consists of a vicious cycle of loneliness, desperation and misguided attempts at psychological stability. The only way to break it is to recognize it and realize you can change it.

Ask a Friend for Advice

Friends are a great way to gain insight into dating problems. They may realize what you are doing but are afraid to say anything because they don’t want to jeopardize the friendship. Ask several of your closest friends why you can’t seem to find someone steady to date or treat you with respect. Their answers may surprise you because they will tell you something you had never thought about before, or realized you were doing to undermine your happiness. Sometimes, when emotional issues are deeply embedded or more difficult to overcome, a person may need to seek the advice of a professional. Don’t’ be afraid to talk to a counselor regarding dating issues. Many individuals have the problem of repeating dating patterns and many are helped daily by seeing the proper therapist.

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